Meet One of Our Knight Authors: Lisa DeMarco ’92

The Book Nook at UCF Knight Market this year will showcase 12 alumni authors. Leading up to the event, we will be spotlighting our Book Nook authors!

Meet Lisa DeMarco ’92!

Hello. My name is Lisa Demarco, and I am known as America’s Funniest waitress. I am a Jersey girl who transplanted to the Sunshine State over 35 years ago.

I moved to Florida from Hopatcong, New Jersey, to attend the University of Central Florida and become a permanent, full-time beach bum! I received my bachelor’s degree in Print Communication from UCF in 1992.

Since then, I have worked in various positions in the hospitality industry – everything from being a hot dog cart girl to a white glove banquet server, simply so I could be at home with my daughters and now my full-time nine-year-old grandson.

Over the past 15 years, I have been lucky enough to work with the fantastic crew at Strategic Book Publishing, which has helped me to publish four of my books. My joke book collection, Serving Up Some Funny Adult Menu, Leftovers, and House Specials, is my personal stock of hilarious spicy, salty, and sometimes tasteless funnies shared with me over my lifetime sentence serving in diners from Jersey to Florida. In addition, I have the first in my children’s series, The Unusual Tales of Matilda Marmalade. It is a story about my older sister, born with glass-like bones, and our mother’s unconditional love.

I thrive on being around people. I find great pleasure in hearing others’ tales, jokes, and lifetime events. I enjoy hearing their story while serving them, and because of my photographic-like memory, my brain captures each moment and records the event. Don’t ask me how, but I can remember a joke from years ago, from start to finish, after only hearing it told once. But the way I recall it, I can vividly see who told it to me and where I was when it was shared. Not to mention, I’m a talkaholic who medically needs to constantly speak, or I get the hiccups. If I stop talking for more than 2 minutes at any time, whether awake or asleep, around someone or not, I get the hiccups. So, to me, it is medically necessary for me to continually talk. At least, that’s what I’ve told my loving husband over the past 30 years. I certainly have enough topics to talk/write about until I eventually run out of words. (Which my devoted husband is praying will be years before I pass.) Yet I am proud to say all those silly jokes I kept repeating to my customers each day while serving them breakfast at Haystax Casa Manana in Eustis would turn out to be a successful cookbook-style series that would feature one laugh after another, thanks to all the joke-telling funny friends I made.  

I aspire to make new friends daily with kids, seniors, and Mother Earth’s creatures and habitually collect them all. I live to serve, share, and spread laughter. I aim to make the giggles echo while inspiring others to enjoy life’s wonders. I believe there are beautiful moments, even during difficult times. I have faith that there is always hope. I have spent a lifetime working for outcomes and not an income. My father left the planet wondering if I was ever going to write anything other than a “GUEST CHECK” with all the tuition money he “wasted” on me at UCF. Yet, thanks to my parents’ loving support and finances, followed by my hard-working husband’s 30-year devotion to paying my bills, I have been granted the privilege to do so my entire life.   

When not writing, I dedicate my spare time to working with children and volunteering for events that promote embracing our differences and encourage and motivate our youth. I also take pleasure in cooking, crafting, gardening, and anything related to tie-dying. 

I am currently working on creating and publishing a comic strip featuring my amazing almost 80-year-old lady friends who live in paradise and boast about finally having the legal right to party with their old friend Mary Jane after several decades of hiding their intimate relationship with their lifetime BFF. The comic will feature quick tales about how nowadays it is not only acceptable to admit that you enjoy her company, but with all the new and inexpensive ways to use her, indulgence is more accessible than picking up your prescription at the drive-thru at the local pharmacy. These gals just can’t believe how lucky they are to have lived long enough to see it happen. Their antics are hysterical.  

Before I moved from New Jersey to Florida, my father insisted I complete my first two years of college locally, and then I would be free to roam. Only to renege on his promise (after I received my AA from Morris County College) just as I started to apply to schools in California. He said he was changing the rules, and whatever school I was planning to attend, it would have to be east of the Mississippi River because that was as far as his funds would travel. So when he bought me a condo in Altamonte Springs, over 20 miles from campus, I was unsure if he realized how long of a drive it would be back and forth to school or if he simply didn’t care. Either way, I didn’t get involved in much on campus, between my full-time night job and my class load, there was little time for extras. Back in the early 1990s, I did not own or know how to use a computer. Laptops were new, and only “tech-type” kids from parents with money got to take advantage early of how easy life was about to get. Sadly, I still wrote all my assignments by hand before typing them into my TYPEWRITER. Talk about time-consuming. Whenever I had to correct a writing assignment, which was the majority of all my classes, I had to type it over and pray to not make new mistakes.  

The one person at UCF who helped and guided me the most through my education was Dr. Timothy O’Keefe. I do not believe I could have finished without him, not only as one of my professors but also as my mentor and my real-life idol. His kindness and teaching abilities touched my life and allowed me a broader view than I had yet to see. Yes, I am a much better storyteller than a professional author, and I can take any given situation and turn it into a Twilight Zone episode or a full Lifetime movie right off the cuff and be entertaining to others. I’ve had that gift since I was young. However, now, thanks to modern technology and extensive editing programs available, I am actually both. Author Lisa DeMarco really does have a lovely ring to it. Especially seeing as back in the day, I had a professor here at UCF whose resume was not merely as impressive as  Dr. O’Keefe’s, who blatantly told me that I would never be a successful writer and I barely had the right to sign a check! Dr. O’keefe taught me that anyone can be a good editor, but it takes a special kind of person to be a creative writer. I took that statement to heart and ran with it. I guess I proved my doubter wrong.   

What would be the fairy tale ending to my Cinderella Story? I would be blessed to live a long, healthy life in the Utopia I have created here in paradise, along with my family, friends, and menagerie of nature. My turtles and ducklings come up in my backyard from the lake. My garden showcases all my beautiful trees, flowers, fruits, vegetables, and herbs. The Hummingbirds, Cardinals, Blue Jays, and Hawks visit me regularly. The butterflies and bats pay me a call throughout each sunrise and sunset. I want to have the right to simply relax on my hammock and watch the sun go down over Anna Maria Island. Especially after the two recent hurricanes destroyed the shoreline. I am grateful that Mother Earth, Mother Nature, and sister Karma graced me during that horrific moment. Because I was graced with the privilege of surviving unharmed and without loss, I feel a deep desire to spread laughter, hope, and goodwill. I don’t mind if people remember me as that silly old lady because it’s better than not being remembered at all. I personally strive for the spotlight.  

So look for me in one of my many colorful handmade poodle skirts. I love to sport around in them – any reason to show off my matching rainbow collection of Converse Chuck Taylor high tops. Since I retired all of my aprons that had been handmade with monograms for me by Aprons by Rose, I have been keeping my dear friend busy making me poodle skirts instead. What could be more fun than promoting my diner-style joke books dressed in an outfit representing the era in which most of my joke-telling wise guys and gals that helped me collect my collection came from?  

My advice: 

I learned this priceless lesson years ago from Mama Commodore. She was a woman I interviewed to be featured as my monthly centenarian when I was the managing editor for Lake Today Magazine. She was about to turn 101 years old and resided in a nearby nursing home.  She told me, “When you are deciding which sandbox you want to play in, make sure to only look at the ones on the joyful side of the fence because misery will always wait for you on the other side. Even if the grass appears greener, don’t be fooled. It will never end up on a pleasant note. All you can do is be the best YOU! Because all other positions have already been taken. 

 

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